France, 9:00pm
Weight: 146.2lbs
(-1.6lbs)
Breakfast:
-nothing, I was sleeping
Lunch:
-1 mango (100)
-1 slice of bread with 200g of green beans (70)
Snack:
- 3 1/2 Cereal Bars (255)
Dinner:
-1/2 mango (50)
-some green beans(50)
That makes about 500kcal for today.
I didn't exercised, but I fast walked for an hour and a half.
I didn't binge or purge yesterday, I'm kinda proud of myself. And I didn't purge after eating the cereal bars, even if I was really close to.
10:20pm
fuck, fuck, fuck!!!!!! Fait chier j'en ai trop marre!!!!!!
I binged. I binged ON FUCKING MANGOS!!!!!!!!
I'm so tired. I want to purge. I promised myself that I won't see my vomit this week. So I won't I won't I won't I won't I won't I won't I won't I won't I won't I won't I won't I won't I won't I won't I won't I won't.
It was only 2 mangos, I only stopped because there wasn't any left in my bedroom. I couldn't go in the kitchen, my flatmate was in there and I was shaking and crying too I hate myself, I'm so weak.
And it's only monday.
+200kcal
I won't purge
Walking fast for an hour is exercise in my book! haha.
ReplyDelete~MLM
Yeah, that totally counts as exercise to me too!
ReplyDeleteI don't understand what it's like to have bulimia. I try to be encouraging when I comment on the blogs of people who are struggling with it, but I don't want to sound judgmental about something I don't know anything about. It sounds like you're really trying to stop, so keep trying!!!!
Here's a link from K's post about it - she really made me think that there are some problems that are worse than my trials and tribulations
http://anaednos.blogspot.com/2010/09/quick-update-post-to-scare-you-all.html
(I hope it's okay to link other people's posts like this - let me know if it's not.)