I fucked up

France, 4pm

 x

For the last two days, I binged, purged, binged, purged... all day.

Must be a new record.

I bet I undid all the work I did this week. I'm afraid to see what the scale tells me.

And I got my period, my tummy hurts so much I can barely move my legs, (is it just me or do your upper thighs hurt too when you have your period?) I feel  like crap, I look like crap, I got diarrhea, acne, sore breasts ... This time of the month is an horrible time for me.

At least I'm too sick to eat. Scratch that, I want something sugary.

Anyway, tomorrow is a new day,and a good day to start over!

I will try to walk to and back from my classes instead of taking the bus. It makes about 10km.

I will eat 40g-50g of cereals every morning with a fruit, for lunch and dinner I will stick with 1 can of vegetable per day (beans, peas, tomatoes, lentils...). And for snacks, raw carrots or fruits.

I would like to lose about 2lbs a week.

I really need to lose as much weight as possible before june. I'm going to the UK for summer break. Clothes are way cheaper there than in France, so I will buy my new wardrobe in England. My borther(C) lives in Bristol and a friend of my mom(P) lives in Southend on sea. I love that city. 

But I'm afraid I will gain a lot of weight once I'm there. I will have to eat every meal with C or P.

With my brother it's okay, I can tell him that I only eat fruit salads, smoothies and raw vegetables, it's summer and I don't need to eat a lot, he's a guy, I don't think he will notice.

But with P it's different. She likes to cook things for me. She hasn't seen me since I was 180lbs (my bro last saw me at 150) I'm afraid she will notice something. That's why I won't stay long at her place, 2 weeks (If I don't find a job there) and then I'll go at C's. Or I might do some couch surfing and stay in London for a few days. Does anyone live in London?