So, maybe eating so little might have been really stupid.
I woke up this morning really hot and nauseous. I fed the cat, peed, and took a shower (all my mornings start like this). But near the end of my shower, I started getting dizzy. I cooled down the water, but it didn't help. So I quickly limped to my bed, still naked. And passed out. Then I tried to get up, but I started getting dizzy again, so I laid down, then tried getting up, then got dizzy... 15 minutes later I felt better but I decided to eat 2 in-case-of-emergency cereal bars and an apple. (Of course I weighted myself before) And at noon I ate another apple before going grocery shopping. That makes 355 cal for today.
My mom gave me some money to buy food. Next Sunday, I want to eat a pizza, with french toasts. So I went to Carrefour Market, and put in my bag all the ingredients I would need to cook a yummy vegan pizza and some other things: tomatoes, peppers, corn, flour, artichokes, mushrooms, tofu, vegcheese, bread, butter, peas, carrots, vanilla soy milk, mangos, apples, bananas.
But in the end, all I bought was: 4 bananas, 4 apples, 4 carots, 1 mango, some fresh peas, 4 soy yogurts and 2 boxes of cereal bars.
The fucked up girl inside me is happy, but the other girl, the one who wants to get better, really wanted to make and eat a pizza and french toats . I deserve it! I lost 7 pounds since last Wednesday! But I couldn't.
So maybe next week the bad fucked up girl will let the hungry girl eat that freaking pizza.
I think my eating disorder is getting worse. I want to get better, but I want to lose weight too.